Forgetting you in New England
by xoBlackIcex
Summary: Arthur hated the smell of coffee at first, but he got used to it because his Alfred smelt like it. He hated the taste of the drink, but Alfred tasted like it in the mornings and he'd grown addicted to those early morning tender kisses. (AU USUK) (Short story) (post-Breakup)


**AN:** Fic request I received a while ago.

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Arthur let out a puff of smoke from his lips after taking a long, deep drag. He knew he shouldn't be smoking anymore, it really wasn't doing anything good for his health, but his stress level had risen quite a lot over the past week. Work was hell and the overdue bills he needed to pay off were starting to form a castle atop his kitchen table. At times he was tempted to toss them into the fireplace to burn for warmth since he no longer could pay for his apartments heat. He'd done it once, but the blasted white envelopes would appear back in his cubby as though he never watched them crumble and turn into ash before fluttering up his chimney.

He knew New England was cold, but bloody hell he didn't expect it to be this bad. Finally he understood why many of the colonists never lasted through out the winter months, including much of George Washington's army.

A bone-chilling breeze whisked down the streets, causing the Englishman to shiver despite his many layers of sweaters and his thick dark green long coat. God he hated this time of year with a passion, though, he wasn't very fond of the hot summers either. If it were up to him, it'd be fall for one half of the year and spring for the other. That way he'd get to garden and wear fall fashion while experimenting with new autumn flavored teas. Speaking of tea, did he forget and leave the kettle atop the burner upstairs?

Another breeze came whistling his way, causing Arthur to take another long warm drag of his cigarette, holding it in before releasing it through his chapped lips. The wind carried the smoke away as he stared right through it and onto the building in front of him, nothing in particular catching his interest. It was rather dull out but he didn't mind the thick overhead clouds because it reminded him of home. Unfortunately these clouds held heavy snow in them, which will cause driving to work the next morning complete hell.

He thought about work and how he'd stand behind bar and serve drunken lonely fools all day as they escaped to pub. It always seemed that the loneliest people used the snow to adventure out he noticed. Not many people on the streets to say hello to, restaurants and bars were near empty, and ones grouchy attitude could be brushed off as just a result from the cold.

Arthur's green eyes swept down the sidewalks and he noticed he was one of the few out. He chuckled at the realization that he too was one of those lonely blokes he just thought poorly of. It didn't bother him as much to be lonesome as it did to _how_ he became alone. The color of blue came to mind and an annoying laugh echoed in his head. Arthur shoved them both back into the dark part of his mind where he shunned them and took another drag.

Forgetting his ex was harder than he thought it was going to be after throwing away all of his once cherished gifts and burning photos of them when they first got together. The high he felt when he watched the Americans face burn alongside some unpaid bills was thrilling but the drop back down was something he didn't expect. He threw away all the gifts in the waste bin, but the damn bin never made it past his door to be taken away. The photos he burned were the ones that he had printed out, the originals were still saved under a file on his laptop desktop. In his kitchen sat an expensive coffee maker. Arthur never liked the drink but his ex did and he'd make it for him in the mornings after they'd stayed the night together.

So why did he still keep it? It wasn't as though he was ever to turn the machine on again, so why does it still sit soundly in his kitchen? Maybe he just enjoyed hearing it brew. A sound he used to wake hearing some mornings as the strong scent came wafting into his bedroom.

Arthur hated the smell at first, but he got used to it because his ex smelt like it. He hated the taste of the drink, but his ex tasted like it in the mornings and he'd grown addicted to those early kisses.

_That damn American coffee machine. _

Arthur shoved his hand into his pocket and exhaled the smoke through his noise, as he casted his stare down to his feet. A few of his past day's cigarettes were littered around his glossy black shoes. He tried counting all the short buds but it only added to his anguish.

Was he really that depressed without his ex that smoking wasn't just a stress reliever but now a common part of his agenda to get through the day?

"Arthur Kirkland, you have become utterly hopeless." He muttered beneath his breath, saying it aloud to himself for the first time. Saying it out loud didn't help him though. He still didn't feel the need to change anything about his ghastly habit.

His satiating cigarette was now nothing but a short bud between his fingers and Arthur was just about to retreat into the heated building until something caught his attention, stopping him mid way from turning for the double glass doors. His green eyes froze on the doors handles, unable to reach for them and escape indoors like he knew he should.

The sound came again and this time Arthur was positive that he heard it the first time. The dead bud between his fingers fell to the ground when he heard the persons laugh being carried in his direction.

It couldn't be…

Arthur turned around and it didn't take him but a second for his emerald eyes to land on him. It was man the hadn't seen in well over a week, though, he stared at his picture on his laptop almost every night before falling asleep. It was the man who tasted like dark roast and smelt just as pungent as the drinks rich taste on some mornings. For a moment Arthur could have tasted it on his tongue, past the recent aftertaste of smoke that still lingered in his lungs.

The Englishman watched as the blonde man he once-no, _still_ loved, strolled down the street on the opposite side of the road. His face was red from the cold wind but he still smiled like the sun was out and glistened down upon him. His smile was so mesmerizing and radiant. It was hard not to smile just by looking at it. He was infectious, everything he _did_ became infectious. Too bad Arthur had no cure from the sickness he denied that devoured him entirely.

The cheery blonde suddenly stopped walking, directly across the road on the sidewalk and Arthur held his breath, expecting for his ex to turn and see him gawking at him from his regular smoking corner. Unfortunately the blonde never turned and that lighthearted smile turned to one of exhilaration as his arms opened up. A shorter young man came scurrying up and threw his arms open just as wide and went hurtling into the blonde man, making him stumble back a bit but securely catch the other.

The faint taste of coffee mixed in with smoke in Arthur's mouth made him to puke. His stomach tightened and twisted painfully as his knees locked beneath him, fixing him in a dire position that made him unable to turn away.

The man in his ex's arms gripped to him desperately like trying to warm himself, as he snuggled his head in that spot between the blonde's shoulder and neck. The same spot that Arthur used to nuzzle his head into.

The Englishman bit onto his bottom lip when he saw the blonde grab at the Asian mans chin and tilt his face up towards his. Arthur knew what was going to happen next. The same action had been done upon him many times before, yet he couldn't look away from the scene. He predicted accurately and watched them both close their eyes and lean into each other till their lips touched. Arthur tasted blood but it was better than the dreadful taste of coffee beans. He swallowed but it stopped and added to the growing lump in his throat. He didn't dare open his mouth in case of what was to escape. Either his breakfast or a sob, he'd just do both when he returned inside to his apartment.

The little Asian man leaned away and grinned cheerfully from the kiss. His ex did the same. Arthur sadly miserably as the man he still cried for hours for at nights held out his hand and the other man who took it happily. The couple squeezed their gloved hands together, interlocking their fingers as they did so. The scene was all too tender as they walked side by side together down the sidewalk, not a single inch between them.

That was enough. Arthur opened his mouth and took a shuddering bitter breath in that burned his throat and stirred the lump. He exhaled and it came out as a dry sob that in no way sounded masculine. His eyes snapped shut as he fought hard to keep the tears from spilling but it was too late when they started rolling down his reddened nipped cheeks. His gloved hands squeezed at the end of his coat tightly to the point it abused his white knuckles.

The wind blew harshly on him again, forcefully brushing his already messy sandy hair away from his eyes and it stung. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand the cold. He couldn't stand the amassing bills that would soon send him out into the cold. And he couldn't stand the feeling of loneliness that practically ate at him alive.

The Englishmen had enough of New England and its damned weather. He'd rather be alone in his own country than a foreign land with foreign people and empty feelings. Arthur wiped his eyes with his coats sleeve and rushed inside the double doors, running past the lobby and to building's staircase. He wouldn't dare let someone see him in such a state if he were to take the lift.

The double glass doors slowly let themselves close automatically before sealing shut without a sound. Down the road a blonde man was stopped along the sidewalk, frozen where he was with a look of grief over his usual gleeful features.

"Is something the matter, Alfred-San?" a man with deep auburn eyes looked up at the man with bright blue and squeezed his boyfriends hand affectionately.

The man with blue looked down at him and assured him that he was fine with an assuring smile and a kiss atop the head past the Asian mans bangs. "Nothing at all."

The shorter man blushed and started walking again, pulling his boyfriend's hand along with him down the sidewalk. Alfred grinned as he was pulled but couldn't stop looking over his shoulder and onto the spot where a man once stood moments ago.

A man that he once-no, _still_ loved.

**The End**


End file.
